I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize