i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
