if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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