You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
