So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
