Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
