I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
