I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
