oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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