The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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