I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
