HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
