I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize