I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
