He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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