Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize