"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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