do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
