THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.