my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back