How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like