the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You ruined the universe
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
