I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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