You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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