He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
