Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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