But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
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Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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