I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
