It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
