Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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