so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
