Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
