3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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