How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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