Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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