12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
