I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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