well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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