the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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