Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
how drunk are you?
Several
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
