Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize