he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.