**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.