i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.