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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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• (415): View more from California

  some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My work here is done

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'

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• (813): View more from Florida

  As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.

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