Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (951)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.

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  (702): He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form. http://tfl.nu/7sev
  Replies (54) Good night (874) Bad night (5429)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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  (845): He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/i52c
  Replies (12) Good night (5384) Bad night (1424)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2576) Bad night (3276)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (5408) Bad night (1730)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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  (864): Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants. http://tfl.nu/bdpr
  Replies (5) Good night (2218) Bad night (938)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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  (847): You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day http://tfl.nu/8r8f
  Replies (8) Good night (2253) Bad night (859)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

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  (214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq
  Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

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  (706): after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius" (404): I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/115h
  Replies (3) Good night (2514) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.

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  (270): Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck. http://tfl.nu/t1ax
  Replies (5) Good night (2968) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

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  (949): We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years. http://tfl.nu/m9m6
  Replies (12) Good night (993) Bad night (601)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar

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  (260): I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar http://tfl.nu/i4or
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (436)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"

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  (917): currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor" http://tfl.nu/zwwk
  Replies (5) Good night (388) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?

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  (941): Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level? http://tfl.nu/9oii
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (108)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila

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  (508): Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila http://tfl.nu/1xij
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (129)

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