Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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  (617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r
  Replies (125) Good night (7734) Bad night (2495)
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  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7754) Bad night (698)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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  (856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on http://tfl.nu/74a4
  Replies (12) Good night (4199) Bad night (1114)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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  (314): He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is. http://tfl.nu/o2e4
  Replies (42) Good night (1238) Bad night (6566)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car

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  (202): You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car http://tfl.nu/q6jc
  Replies (1) Good night (1908) Bad night (780)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (1017) Bad night (2722)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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  (703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth
  Replies (5) Good night (1087) Bad night (573)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry

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  (775): there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry http://tfl.nu/tonv
  Replies (9) Good night (1024) Bad night (695)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?

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  (407): Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night? http://tfl.nu/69ho
  Replies (4) Good night (1027) Bad night (468)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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  (248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (463)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night

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  (973): Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night http://tfl.nu/x2gj
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (512)
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  (818): View more from California

  I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.

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  (818): I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful. http://tfl.nu/482k
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (245)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?

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  (+44): Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin? http://tfl.nu/rh13
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (259)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

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  (413): He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kvnn
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (221)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see

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  (201): I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see http://tfl.nu/49ut
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (244)

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