Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...

Fav 13 1147 2216
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.

Fav 7 6605 1464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

Fav 67 8606 2792
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

Fav 11 1641 931
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.

Fav 4 2327 703
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

Fav 15 1263 924
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(308): View more from Nebraska

I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

Fav 1 703 469
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter

Fav 1 393 184
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.

Fav 0 36 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT