Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

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  (870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6
  Replies (24) Good night (3493) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.

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  (425): he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis. http://tfl.nu/d5v8
  Replies (23) Good night (929) Bad night (5290)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray

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  (306): I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray http://tfl.nu/enz4
  Replies (14) Good night (2574) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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  (404): the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick... http://tfl.nu/wq21
  Replies (6) Good night (3370) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

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  (508): right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy." http://tfl.nu/262w
  Replies (21) Good night (6754) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.

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  (202): We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open. http://tfl.nu/2rgi
  Replies (7) Good night (2626) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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  (410): you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship. http://tfl.nu/fcev
  Replies (5) Good night (2450) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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  (661): Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them. http://tfl.nu/la60
  Replies (5) Good night (1314) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle

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  (513): It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle http://tfl.nu/f7n7
  Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I stand by it.

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  (507): You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her" (815): I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/atfq
  Replies (5) Good night (1814) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .

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  (956): Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . . http://tfl.nu/ha2v
  Replies (11) Good night (661) Bad night (1543)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.

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  (970): I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more. http://tfl.nu/g8n9
  Replies (1) Good night (1160) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.

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  (518): you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/a1x2
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there

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  (215): I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there http://tfl.nu/ipty
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME

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  (717): WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME http://tfl.nu/wilo
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (455)

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