I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
