tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And then he peed in my hair
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