So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
