thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
