Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
