so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
