so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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