I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
