He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
