no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
