When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
