It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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