i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
