I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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