I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
