It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
there is another microwave in the elevator.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
