Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
