why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
