Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
