Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
