Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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