just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
