I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
