he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
