I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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