I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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